An unhealthy relationship is defined as any relationship in which sexual, physical, emotional or mental abuse may occur. The vast majority of these relationships can be avoided as long as teens learn to create healthy relationships and develop healthy boundaries (which we will go over in a later post). Before you can know what a healthy relationship looks like, you first need to be able to recognize signs of an unhealthy relationship. There are several “red flags” to look for. Some of them are:
- Your partner doesn’t accept “no” for an answer.
- Your partner tries to cut you off from your family and friends.
- Instead of turning to each other for support, you look others.
- Your partner tells you they only value you for your body or income.
- Your partner implies you are stupid.
- You and your partner break up frequently and you don’t have a strong sense of security in your relationship.
- Your partner doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.
- Your partner mocks you.
- You feel less confident after being with your partner. You end up doing things you are ashamed of.
- Your partner doesn’t pay attention to you when you have something important to say.
- Your partner belittles your success or acts like they aren’t interested in hearing about your success.
- Your partner makes jokes about leaving you.
- You don’t feel comfortable confiding in your partner.
- Your partner is dismissive of your interests.
- You don’t feel you can depend on your partner.
- Your partner ignores you when you aren’t together (for example: never calling when they say they will)
- You avoid seeing your partner because being around them is stressful.
- Your partner forces you to be intimate when you don’t want to or you are afraid of saying “no.”
- Your partner takes your phone away when you’re together so you can’t talk to anyone else.
- Your partner pressures you into doing illegal activities.
- You catch your partner in lies- repeatedly.
- You feel lonely when the two of you are together.
- Your partner talks badly about you to their friends and family members.
- Your partner forces you to wait on him/her.
- Your partner grabs, hits, and kicks you, or pulls your hair or squeezes your face.
If you think you and your partner, or someone you know might be involved in an unhealthy relationship, there are things you can do to fix that. The first thing would be to recognize and admit that the relationship is not healthy and why. The next thing to do would be to talk with your partner about why you feel the relationship isn’t healthy and discuss ways to improve the relationship. I will be going over what a healthy relationship looks like in my next post.
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